Save Marriage Secrets

Moten posted a straight forward question:

“My wife has left me but I love her and want her back. What should I do?”

Well, to be able to give a better answer to this question I would really need to know the reason Moten’s wife left him.

However, there are a few simple and basic steps anyone can do in a situation like this.

For whatever reason your wife left you it is wise to acknowledge that you need to spend some time apart to allow her to deal with her feelings and to allow the waters to calm a little.

Any attempt at a discussion during the first few weeks will certainly not be constructive as she will most likely still be having negative thoughts about being around you. Allow her some time to be able to let go of these feelings. depending on how long you have been together, she may even begin to miss the fact you are not around.

After a few weeks it may be time to make contact. However, do it in a friendly way and in no way sound pushy or desperate. Now would be a good time to apologize to her for your past mistakes and acknowledge her right to feel the way she does.

At this time do not attempt to get her to take you back, or to bring up any of her past mistakes. She needs to begin to see you are sincere and that no conditions are being made.

Listen, really listen to what she has to say and put yourself in her position to try to see her point of view. Now is not a good idea to argue, even if you do not entirely agree with her! Simply listening will help her to feel understood and is a first step towards mending your relationship.

Tell her you want to remain friends. You have to keep her in your life to have a chance to get back together again, but if you appear desperate or needy you will just scare her further away. She needs to feel safe around you with no expectations.

Just be cheerful around her as well as showing you still care. Never get upset or bitter about the fact you are apart.

She will be attracted to you much more if you show her you are confident, happy and at your best, just as you were when you first met. Show her that you are moving on with your life, without acting like you are glad to be rid of her, or she will see no point in trying to work things out.

It may seem wrong, but you need to show her you are a strong and capable person who does not depend on her for your happiness. You should not be clingy or needy as this will definitely put her off.

Whenever you meet or speak with her, smile and be cheerful. Remember, people always want what they can’t have. That is not to say you should make yourself unavailable or be uncaring. Try to be the person she once was attracted to and you will be on your way to regaining the love you once both had.

Bob Lampard

p.s. Agree or disagree? Have any further suggestions? Why not leave a comment and join the discussion?