How To Break The Failure Cycle…

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I had a question from Joseph, who asked how to treat his wife with the love she deserves after she had taken him back.

It takes a long time to build a relationship, but a short time to destroy it. The failure cycle, once started, gathers it’s own momentum and needs no pushing.

It is more often the man who is responsible for the cracks that appear in a relationship. Sometimes it is because he is ambitious and gets too involved with his work that he forgets about his wife. The distances increase and a rift appears.

A marriage is also affected if the man enters into another relationship. Life then becomes difficult for him and the more he tries to hide it, the more he complicates things.

The early signs that a relationship is in trouble are:

The man spends less time with his partner
An increase in arguments and quarrels over insignificant issues
A gradual loss of trust in each other
A big drop in their sex lives
Both start finding fault with each other.

It is important for the man to notice these signs and realise that it is impossible to live in a world of their own and allow the marriage to fall apart.

They need to understand why cracks are appearing in their relationship. is it because he is taking his spouse for granted by becoming so involved in his work? This happens in so many relationships.

The spontaneity in the relationship vanishes. The wife waits for her husband to find time for her, which leads first to boredom, then anger and then depression. In some cases it even forces her to seek another relationship. The man must act before this happens.

He must assure his wife there is no other woman in his life. He must break all ties that may have developed if he hopes to save his marriage.

He will need to show remorse
He will have to beg forgiveness
He will have to assure his wife it will not happen again

Even then he will be lucky if he is forgiven. He must expect the chill to continue for some time. He must make his life and everything he does an open book. It is totally up to him to win his wife’s affection again.

If trust is to be rebuilt, both parties need to treat each other with respect. The man must create a space where the woman can feel comfortable. he must listen to her with courtesy and seriousness. She must never be made to feel small in front of her friends, family or children. He must never hurt her pride, for any man who runs his wife down can never expect the relationship to last.

Bob Lampard