During the time when I was trying to save my marriage I often found that something I said or did was taken the wrong way. What I thought was the right thing to say or do turned out to be the opposite.
It was not until I realised that however hard I tried I could not always be perfect, that I stopped kicking myself for these errors of judgement, and just continued to do everything I could that was best for our relationship.
How many times have you or your partner made a promise and then not followed through, leaving the other upset and frustrated?
If you have made promises in the past that you have not kept, are you now afraid to make further promises to your partner? Afraid that you will let them down once again. Afraid that you will not be able to be perfect in everything you do.
The truth is that no one is perfect. All we can ever do is try our best.
If your marriage is going through troubled times, one of the best things you can do is to make a promise to each other that you will do your best to make things better between you both.
Promise that you will do whatever it takes to fix whatever has been broken. Promise that you will give this all your time and attention. Promise that you will try your best.
Then stick to that promise.
Even if you are in therapy you cannot always be perfect in rebuilding your relationship. Things can go wrong: People make mistakes: Life has a habit of throwing you a curved ball now and then. You will not always do everything right.
To go into saving your marriage thinking that everything will be easy and that you will not have setbacks is just not realistic.
What matters the most is that you will do the best for your relationship and try to keep moving forward.
Whilst trying your best, remember to forgive not only your partner, but also yourself when the choice you take is maybe not the correct one.
It is not these mistakes, but how you learn from them and recover, that will make your marriage stronger in the end.
If your marriage is going through bad times then you will need help to make things right again, but not everyone has the time, or can afford to obtain professional help.
However, I have some good news for you. Although you may need a therapist in the future, you CAN save your marriage without one and you are certainly in the right place to make a start.
The first thing to do is to sit down and think about why you want to save your marriage.
Do you really want to regain the love you once had or are you trying to save face with your family and friends, or even yourself?
Are you afraid what others might say if your marriage fails? Will it dent your ego?
If these or similar thoughts come to mind then the chances are you are only putting off the inevitable.
I’m sorry for being so blunt, but sometimes the truth can hurt and it is often better to know from the outset.
If, on the other hand, you have quietly drifted apart over time, some infidelity has occured, or some other reason is causing your marriage to go through troubled times and you truly want to rescue your marriage and regain the relationship and love you once had, then I can tell you that it can be done.
Start by telling your partner how you feel. Why you want to save your marriage. Sit down with them and and remind them of fond memories and times when things were much better.
Discuss the reasons and things that are keeping you together now.
Get out your photo albums and talk about those holidays, birthdays, and Christmas times you had together. There is no reason why you both cannot enjoy these again if you really want to.
Sometimes simply talking about these memories can help you put your current problems into perspective and set you on the path to a renewed life together and a much healthier relationship.
Remember, your marital problems didn’t start in one day and they won’t stop in one day either. My newsletter will bring you regular tips and resources, direct to your inbox, to help you to save your marriage. Just fill in your details in the form to the right to join and receive with my compliments my e.book ‘3 Simple Changes To Save Your Marriage’
