Save Marriage Secrets

Is your husband suggesting you split up for a while to try to find your lost feelings?

Does your wife seem to have lost interest in your marriage and is asking for a trial separation?

While I personally do not recommend trial separations, I do acknowledge that they can sometimes work and help to save your marriage, but only if some ground rules are laid down before the split is made.

There are many people suffering marital difficulties who believe that a few weeks apart will calm the waters and solve all their problems. Their intention is to reduce the tension in the relationship. However a sudden decision to separate for a while can become a destructive force if certain guidelines are not followed.

Here are some basic rules that I would recommend regarding trial separations.

Firstly, the separation should never be used as a way of hurting or punishing their partner in some way. This is not separation for the correct reasons and will probably cause more harm than good.

Secondly, it is important that both partners maintain regular contact. Schedule meetings or dates when you are able to discuss how you are both feeling and whether any progress is being made.

Thirdly, both partners should be clear as to what they are hoping to achieve from the separation. They should both make goals as to what they want and communicate these to each other to enable each of you to measure the progress you are making.

Trial separations should be about alleviating the stress and giving each other the space to evaluate the best ways of resolving the problems and both partners should be committed to bringing this about.

If you do decide on a trial separation here are a couple of no, no’s.

Don’t beg your partner to return or show them you are needy. Desperation will only cause then to feel suffocated and push them further away.

Don’t try to make them jealous by rushing out to every party and flirting with your friends. Again this will probably have the effect of encouraging your partner to do the same.

“If you’ve been considering leaving your relationship but don’t know what you should do, there’s a brand new ebook I would like to recommend called “Should You Stay or Should You Go?”  The book is written by relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins and is filled with hundreds of powerful questions and insights that will help you make that difficult relationship decision. 

“If you’re looking for a book to tell you whether to leave your relationship or not, this book isn’t for you. But what you will get are questions to help you decide what the best course for you to take for the highest good for all concerned so that you can either stay and make your relationship better or leave knowing that this is the best decision possible.”

 For more information on this insightful new book, “click here.”

Bob Lampard